Stitch In Time

The moon is on fire this morning.

It might be the brightest moon I think I’ve ever seen. Then again, the past in its turn grows a bit fuzzier with each passing day.

I’ve been thinking a lot about the past.

I wake up each morning softly cocooned in my blanket, adrift in some long, lost memory. Dreams of what was seem to stand guard, helping to preserve my sanity by pushing aside the horrors of today.

What strange times we live in.

Am I even allowed to mention that?

I must confess, dear.. I’m having some trouble keeping up. Rules on what’s acceptable and non-acceptable seem to change daily now.

Mayhaps if someone could jot them down for me, I could set aside an hour or two each afternoon to go over them.

I wouldn’t want to offend anyone, now would I?

Bodies continue to dance, though the tunes have long ended. Sway for as long as needed, dear. Softly, gently, slowly bringing yourself to a close. Remember, refusing to let go is a human trait. We all share in your loss.

Horrors of the day.

Bitter confusion everywhere I look.

Lost in the mists of time. Bouncing to and fro. Even something as intangible as confusion can get old it seems.

How odd.

I have a plan though..

I’ll beef up to face the day, grab my coat and perhaps a cheerful smile on my way out.

There’s a lunch at noon, then a dinner quite late.

This evening will most likely have its way with me. Finally – it’s back to my long, lost memories and trusty old blanket.

That’ll do pig.

That’ll do.

If you listen intently, you might still be able to trace the last vestiges of a tune in there somewhere.

-I am Crandew

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Strange Notion

“Everything matters because I matter.”

A repeated chant I had to claw my way through for many, many years before I could finally gain its true meaning. True meaning for me, that is.. for you are more than welcomed to take of it what you will.

Question.

Have you ever felt as though the mountain had come down to you?

Hard to climb something so heavy, especially as it pushes you down. This year has been that mountain, such a trial by fire.

Has it not?

There are flames that burn beneath the skin so white hot that I’d swear I’m melting.

I have to believe that when I can withstand the pain long enough, it will help to mold a new me, a better me, one that’s had harmful traits carved out, healthier ones fostered.

That phrase from up above is something I derived to help me cope with being different, being an outcast in society.

Instead of succumbing to overwhelming pressures, I chant that under my breath before casually moving on.

It’s incredible what a small belief in something can do even if misunderstood.

I now have a slightly deeper interpretation, one that gives me a bit more strength.

That simple phrase tells me to let go of the things I can’t change and to focus on the things I can change.

It’s my superhero mantra.

It’s also just a gentle reminder that I should choose more wisely how I want to spend my remaining time.

Mortality can be a gift, a lever used to move large boulders you never could have otherwise.

Rock on, and have a great day folks!

-I am Crandew

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Unpack Reality

To understand the world, I had to first understand myself.

I began by blocking out as much noise as possible. I removed myself from social media which in turn helped lessen a large part of the hum.

Diminishing that constant drone of distractions, my thoughts were finally able to become less erratic and a bit more focused.

Let’s talk about location.

Do you know where you are, right this second?

You’re right here with me.

I’m talking, you are reading and we are both standing in a very long line.

We mill about, only able to move forward one painful step at a time.

This line I’m trying to describe began as murky as it will someday end, in total darkness.

To cope with this harsh reality, I believe most people ignore it all together while pretending that it simply doesn’t exist.

Mortality is not something that anyone easily come to grips with. It takes time and strength to even admit it exists.

However, in order to understand the world surrounding us and get a glimpse at reality, it has to be acknowledged.

Lambs to the slaughter house.

My point (if I even have one) is that all things begin and end inside our head.

We are the villains who create the stories that dictate our lives, not the other way around.

We define life, it doesn’t define us.

We may interact with each other while awaiting our turn, but ultimately it’s our fingers in the pie.

OK, that sounded a bit weird but I’m going to leave it in.

What I’m trying to say is that if life is to exist anywhere, it must exist in those brief moments we individually create.

Those are the times that are uniquely ours and ours alone.

Just a few thoughts, go out and have a wonderful day!

-I am Crandew

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Happy Thanksgiving!

While there’s no question that this has been a really bad year, I suggest that everyone try to find at least one thing to be thankful for.

I’m thankful for my family and for the food on my table.

Even though millions are now out of work, I’ve been able to keep my job. I feel for those who haven’t.

My health has never been better and my heart goes out to those who are struggling right now.

The ending of the world has inspired me to read more and consequently, to write more.

For all of that, I’m the most grateful.

I do find it interesting that of all the things one might choose as the world ends, I instinctively chose the most basic.. reading and writing.

Have a great day, surrounded by as many loved ones as possible.

-I am Crandew

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Setter’s Eve

There are far too many emotions to lock down.

Simply delightful, yet even that somehow fails to measure up.

Fine.

Let’s just say, I’m very pleased with the capture of this one particular sunset and leave it at that for a while.

It is a beauty, though.. right?

OK, my bad.

No point in getting Arnold all upset again.

Sheesh.

Go out into the world, have a great day!

-I am Crandew

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Gatekeepers

Just look over there.

Isn’t that the most?

It has always been so incredibly easy to distract the masses, to confuse or entertain large groups of dullards while maintaining absolute control.

Understand that this has never been a problem for us.

We are the gatekeepers.

We check the tickets and show you to your seat.

Do you need a new drink, perhaps a warm latte with some extra foam?

How about trying one of our brand new expresso‘s?

They’re served exactly the same for each customer, allowing you to express your own unique personality.

What’s that?

Oh, I assure you.. everyone’s trying them.

It’s no problem, sir.

No problem at all.

Whether or not you remain constantly distracted by pretty baubles or terrible monsters makes no difference to us, as long as you remain distracted.

That’s key, you know.

It’s always been about distractions, smoke and mirrors, controlled situations that put on quite the show.

Oh, is this soft enough sir?

Shall I fetch you another, perhaps a fluffier one?

I assure you, it’s no problem.

No problem at all.

-I am Crandew

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By Any Means Necessary

With a rapid approach of winter holidays so close at hand, as well as other things that mayhaps won’t be so well received, I suggest we take some time right now to celebrate.

Exactly what are we to be so thankful for after having just lived through such an insane year, you might ask?

Well cupcake, that’s a good question.

How about this?

Let’s get together with our family and friends and just celebrate being alive.

Let’s gather our loved ones together and try to focus on what life’s all about in the first place.

You heard me, I think right now is the best time to reconnect with everyone you can think of.

How about them apples?

-I am Crandew

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Light Dark

The morning chill was harsh as I exited my hole in search of a new day.

It was not always this way, I reminded myself. There had been times, albeit far in the past, where the warmth had been so giving.

Those times have faded.

They did exist once though. I was told they were real, but that was long ago and I have no clear face to pin it on.

Growling in protest, it seems that hunger rises much faster than the sun on days such as these.

The welcome silence felt bitter.

The surrounding light grew hazy as the morning found itself somewhat entangled, locked in a battle with the trees, now just barely able to skirt the far hill.

Light and dark, such children at play.

Always the same, so unforgiving at times.

Attempts at recalling my childhood fail me of late, for that was the then and this is an unbearable now.

Just a few more reminders, echoes of the light dark I suppose.

Cry out in agony all you want, fool. At least the chill retreats.

Upon reaching the park, I find that my one broken down old bench still sits where I last saw it. It’s barely intact yet somehow I know it’s more undisturbed than I will ever be.

Undisturbed. What a strange way to describe something.

A light dark crawls up my leg slowly as I decide to sit near my bench not on it.

Seriously, with what little remains in the world today, could I steal even a small part of we have left?

-I am Crandew

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Clown World

Who doesn’t think that we’re not all living in a clown world right now?

Honest question, not meant to be just a weird observation. In my opinion, the world I once knew as a child has ceased to exist. Not even the picked-over bones remain intact.

I’m talking about the world I grew up in, not my unique family situation.

A world where things were actually better for most people, where a kid could dream of one day becoming an astronaut or perhaps a doctor. A world where that could actually happen.

That fairy tale world existed once. I know because I was there and grew up in those times. That was then, a golden time I suppose. We’ve been led into much harsher, darker times. Now it doesn’t exist, at least not here in the USA and from what I’ve seen online, it has pretty much evaporated everywhere else too.

What we are left with is a strange land where everyone plays a part in a non-stop puppet show. This is not a good thing, nor is it a healthy thing. It’s a distraction from reality, a way to take the focus off the bad guys.

You know, the ones who use smoke and mirrors to confuse us while our cities burn to the ground and our lives become enslaved?

I could cite actual examples, but what’s the point. You already know what I’m talking about, don’t you? You must be able to see that at least something is fundamentally wrong.

Lies so thick, you could cut them with a ..

A big question remains, what are we going to do about all this, if anything?

I don’t have an answer right now. The problems are too widespread, too complicated. Most people I see are clouded by doubts, haunted by insecurities, and led by the nose by the media, unable to lift a finger against this tyranny.

I do know that our jailers need to be overthrown, but I doubt that will ever happen.

There also needs to be a push back against the virus insanity, but not enough people see what’s happening clearly enough. The media definitely needs to be shut down, those in it locked up.. but again, will that ever happen?

All I know is this: my country has been shattered, slapped off the kitchen table and is now lying in broken pieces on the floor. It’s like this all over the world right now.

But there’s always a new tomorrow (just a day away I’m told), so stay strong folks.

This clown world waits for no one.

-I am Crandew

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Soapbox

With each step taken, therein lies an unspoken promise of another.

Allowed a brief moment to exit the mountain, to drop quickly from my pedestal, I find this to be true in all things.

Breathe in, cough out.

The cycle of life goes on, prudence dictating the where, when and how of it all.

I find hope in all things, of late.

Hope, my friends.

It reminds me of an old adage about how we make our own luck.

Lately, I find myself reading like a fiend, devouring everything I can get my grubby little hands on. I also exercise daily, sometimes walking for hours just to calm the voices and rekindle the spirit.

We do what we can with what’s in front of us. Life will always present those silly challenges, leaving it up to us to figure things out.

At least there are still paths before us.

Somehow I think that’s the greatest gift of all, that those paths still exist.

The weekend is upon us once again, a welcomed respite indeed.

Best to all, enjoy what you have.

-I am Crandew

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